The Scheme of Things
by hoshi-ni-onegai
Summary: The neighboring dojo's oldest son may become Kaoru's suitor. Kenshin contemplates what life will be like if he were to stay and if it's too late to change things. Canon. KxK. One-shot


Author Notes: This was intended to be a humor piece. Then, I made the mistake of writing it from canon Kenshin's perspective. Yeah, it's not a comedy anymore. He's way too tortured for that. But I think the fanfic has its moments, even though I wanted to go darker than this went. I just can't seem to seep these two into debilitating darkness in RK world. Maybe an AU fic is where that can happen.

Also, I have sworn to myself this will be the last one-shot I write until I crank out another 'System Compatibility' chapter. These one-shots are too rewardingly easier. Sigh.

Disclaimer: The _Rurouni Kenshin_ world and all characters depicted are a creation of mangaka, Watsuki Nobuhiro.

**The Scheme of Things**

By Hoshi-ni-Onegai

The knowing look that Maekawa-dono gave me as I stepped into the dojo spoke volumes, but what it was saying I didn't know. I greeted him as I usually did and he politely gestured to the front of the dojo where I would sit in my usual place on a cushion while drinking tea. The smirk tugging at the corner of his lips told me he was up to something.

This all started yesterday after Kaoru-dono returned from her joint training session at Maekawa dojo. Kaoru-dono relayed the message from Maekawa-dono that he wished to speak to me. She wasn't sure of the topic, but said she would be going again for training the next day. So I decided to tag along today to hear what he wanted to discuss.

Consecutive joint training sessions at Maekawa dojo was not something out of the ordinary. After the entire ordeal with Enishi was behind us, within the first few weeks Kaoru was back teaching lessons again. Unfortunately, with the growing acceptance of a peaceful era, the art of the sword was becoming a part of the history books. Diligent trainers who still believed the sword taught discipline and character kept their dojo's open. Maekawa-dono and Kaoru-dono were such people.

However, it seemed the Maekawa dojo was able to keep a somewhat steady stream of students while the Kamiya dojo suffered. Only a small handful continued to train there, Kaoru-dono was unperturbed and was grateful for every student. Even if her most promising student continued to mock her and call her ugly -a sentiment I did not agree with or care for when made.

And so Kaoru-dono was accustomed to going across town to give training lessons at Maekawa dojo. The irony wasn't lost to me that Maekawa dojo seemed to draw a much larger crowd when Kaoru-dono went. The few times I had gone, which was before I left for Kyoto to defeat Shishio Makoto, it had been obvious that many of the students were vying for the kenjutsu princess' attention. Kaoru-dono was mildly unaware of the attention. She believed the students were flocking to Maekawa dojo when she taught there because there was a novelty of seeing a female kenjutsu instructor.

More than once she wondered out loud while we walked back from her outside teaching session as to why the novelty didn't translate to the Kamiya dojo. If the novelty was the female instructor, wouldn't a full time one with her own dojo have the same appeal? I knew the answer to her rhetorical question, but kept quiet and shrugged in response. Because if she knew the truth, I feared she would throw me out of the dojo immediately.

But I knew the rumors that spread like wildfire through the kenjutsu practicing crowd of Tokyo. No eligible male student of marrying age would dare going to Kamiya dojo. There was a reason why the small collection of students Kaoru-dono maintained was of Yahiko's age or barely older -but never older than Kaoru-dono herself. The men were afraid of encroaching in on the Battousai's territory. If the kenjutsu princess was allowing the Hitokiri Battousai to board in her dojo, it must be because she was his woman. The princess had named her groom, and it was none other than the demon Battousai.

This wasn't something I was exactly thrilled with. It made it seem like I was some sort of dragon keeping a damsel in distress in a high tower. Kaoru-dono was no damsel in distress, maybe a princess. And if I was a dragon, I was a pet dragon. I was here to protect her and be at the beck and call of her midnight blue eyes. I was also not righteous enough to not monopolize her.

However, I didn't correct the presumption that we were an item. Despite the conversations we had before she was... taken away by Enishi -I still had difficulty swallowing down what happened even if it was not real. And despite what seemed near to unfold when we took our trip to Kyoto to visit Tomoe afterward, my relationship with Kaoru remained the same.

There were times that I would catch her looking at me, waiting for something. But I didn't pursue it further. It didn't seem fair to damn Kaoru-dono into my existence. Look at what had happened to her since I first met her. Multiple kidnappings, various attempts at her life, and the tears. Oh god the tears. I've made her cry one hundred too many times to be excusable.

I knew I wanted to be by her side and protect her. The thought of leaving was debilitating. The infinite scenarios of past enemies coming and making Enishi's nightmare a reality was too much. And so I had vowed to be her pet dragon guarding her tower.

After Sano had run off as a fugitive, Megumi returned back to Aizu, and Yahiko went to live in the row houses, we were left alone in the Kamiya dojo. I never realized how large the place was until they left. I imagined the months Kaoru-dono lived here alone after her father's death. I wondered if the loneliness was crushing, if the walls seemed to close in on her, or if she considered abandoning her home. Because that was what I had felt after Enishi... took her. The crushing reality of living in Kamiya dojo without her was too much, and that was the main reason why I left -along with my having failed her so miserably.

I was pulled out of my glum thoughts when Maekawa-dono approached and sat next to me on the spare cushion. He watched over his students as they trained assiduously with Kaoru leading the lesson along with a young man I had seen before at the dojo. I thought back to if I had ever spoken with him, and brought up a blank.

"I'm retiring soon Himura." Maekawa-dono said without turning to me.

"I see." There was little else I could say in response. This was the reality of swordsmen; there was an expiration date to our careers.

"I'm afraid my injury from Raijyuta is never going to fully recover. I was hopeful for a while, but it seems I'll need to put down my sword." His words weren't spiteful or sad. He seemed to be happily at peace with the situation. "Do you see the man teaching the class with Kaoru? He's my son, Makoto, he will taking over as head master when I leave."

Knowing the identity of the young man from earlier, I paid closer attention to his movements. I could tell that he spent his entire life carefully perfecting the craft, knowing one day he would need to take the reins of the dojo. His potential seemed promising and the direction he gave his students fair and helpful. "He appears to be the perfect candidate for the position Maekawa-dono. I'm sure you are proud."

The man nodded grinning at the praise his son received. After a moment he sighed, "But I'm afraid he lacks something."

I frowned at his comment. "Lacks? I'm sure whatever it is, he will attain it soon enough."

"That's why I called you here Himura." He turned his head slightly to look at me, so I did the same. "I remember how busy I was after first becoming the head master. There was time for nothing else, and I was never more thankful that I was able to marry before I gained the dojo. My late wife was a lifeline for me during those first few years." He didn't miss a beat before continuing on, "How long have you lived in Kamiya dojo?"

When I heard his question I felt heaviness in the pit of my gut. I swallowed down the knot in my throat that had suddenly presented itself. "Nearly a year." I honestly don't know how I found my voice.

"Do you know if there are any suitors for Kaoru?" He asked.

_Me._ My inner voice screamed, but instead I replied evenly. "None that I'm aware of."

There was an odd glint in the older man's eye as he grinned. "Well, you see. Kaoru and Makoto have known each other since they were infants. Her father and I always joked that they would end up together. And as I've watched her blossom into the beautiful woman and person that she is, nothing would make me prouder than having her as part of family."

I numbly nodded. I didn't want to say anything to encourage or discourage him. It wasn't my place, even though I wanted it to be.

"Has she indicated that she's considering marriage?" Maekawa-dono pressed on.

"I don't know." As his intentions became clear my attention focused in on the interaction between Kaoru-dono and Makoto. There appeared to be amicability between them. They complemented each other well while they instructed the students -something that was built up over years of training together no doubt. I had been mistakenly thinking that I had a cartel on Kaoru-dono's time and history, but I had been blind. This was her hometown where she spent seventeen years before she charged at me in the alley all those months ago. But it was only months, not years or the lifetime that Makoto seemed to share with her.

"What about that fighter for hire? He is close to Kaoru's age right?" He asked.

I frowned at the implications. "Sano left. There was also nothing between them." It hadn't been the first time I was asked about Sano and Kaoru-dono. Only a few people ventured to ask me about her, but our close friends wondered if I wasn't her better half, then Sano who was only two years apart in age must be the prime candidate. Having seen the way they interacted, I knew they were nothing more than friends but in corner of my mind darkness seeped through.

I had resolved myself to be by Kaoru-dono's side for the rest of my life to protect her, but my mind had ignored the possibility that she may one day marry. Would the princess cast off the dragon if her knight in shining armor came? Could I watch over her while she gets wooed by another man?

Images of her in a potential future flashed through my head. Kaoru-dono as the blushing bride while I watched on as only a guest. Visiting her from my own row house and seeing her belly full with child. Kaoru-dono looking at her husband adoringly and stealing kisses that I accidently walked in on. Babysitting her children with her familiar blue eyes while she and her husband took time for themselves.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

My tone was surprisingly even when I questioned Maekawa-dono. "Why are you asking me this?"

The man smiled and clapped me on my back. "Well, I want your blessing to arrange them together."

I froze at his words. He was asking me for something I could never do. Right? I steeled my voice. "It's not my place to give a blessing, I'm not her father."

He laughed and tugged my shoulder to look at him. "You know what I mean Himura."

Maekawa-dono was visibly startled when he looked at my face. I suspected I didn't exactly have the friendliest expression right now. "I'm afraid I don't."

Before the situation could escalate -to what, I'm not sure- Kaoru-dono called out my name. I could feel the harsh angles of my face melt as I turned toward her. I could see the tentative gazes of the other students as she almost skipped toward me. Her grin and her sweat dripped brow was a welcome contrast to the emotions I had been wrestling a moment ago. The fact that she seemed happy to approach me was enough to soothe my mood and ego.

"We're done here for the day." I couldn't help responding to her smile with my own. "And Makoto invited us to go the Akabeko. We can leave right after I freshen up a bit."

There it was, the pit in my stomach, now it felt like it was wrenching and turning. Before today, I had never even heard of Maekawa-dono's son. I wasn't even aware he had a son. But now, he seemed to be invading me.

I make sure that my face didn't indicate my inner turmoil. "I'm sorry Kaoru-dono. I'm actually meeting with Saitou right after this. Something about road bandits on the edge of town." I was surprised by how easily the lie came out of me.

She seemed crestfallen. She bit her lip a moment then questioned, "I guess I could tell Makoto maybe another time."

I didn't have time to respond before Maekawa-dono laughed and shooed her with his hands. "There's no reason why you two can't go. I'm sure you two have a lot to catch up on."

Kaoru-dono seemed to consider the older man's words, she glanced at me a few more times while I tried to keep my face pleasant but neutral. Again, I didn't want to encourage or discourage. And again, it wasn't my place.

"Okay..." She finally replied precariously. Turning away she waved to me slightly, "I guess I'll see you back home."

"Yes, I'll see you back home." At her use of 'home,' it felt like a victory on my behalf. No matter if there were others who were interested in her, I still had that. We still shared a home together. After returning from Kyoto, after returning when I had previously decided never to come back, Kaoru-dono accepted me and told me 'welcome home.' No one could take that away from me... yet.

As I was walking away from Maekawa dojo I regretted my decision to lie to Kaoru-dono. Aside from not enjoying deceiving her, it seemed like a terrible idea to leave her alone with the man that was being pushed toward her. But after a moment I reconsidered the idea. They were going to the Akabeko. Tae-dono had been hinting at forcing us together for months now. She would keep an eye on them. Right? At least I hoped so.

I never knew how destructively imaginative my mind could be. I thought the worst of every situation. I even imagined what it would be like if I went back to the dojo and Kaoru-dono was there excited to show me a diamond ring presented to her. The last time she received a ring by accident; there was no stopping her elation. Maybe that was when I lost my chance.

I needed to clear my mind. I would only torture myself at the dojo. And it probably wouldn't be good to arrive at the dojo before her. Any business of road bandits with Saitou would most likely take long. Now that my lie was in effect, I needed to see it through. I groaned at the thought.

I made it to the outskirts of town and followed the river. I headed in the direction of the bamboo woods where I had previously trained. I slipped in between the towering trees and attempted to clear my mind and focus my energy.

Hours later after the sun had set I sighed in exasperation. The entire time I was within what usually served as my sanctuary, was instead filled with racing dark thoughts. When I made it back to the dojo and saw that there was light from the main room I gave a sigh of relief. At least when Kaoru-dono was home I knew where she was and who she was with. I berated myself. A pet had no right to be possessive. Protective, maybe, but possessive?

"Kenshin? Is that you?" Her voice was cautious as she called out from the main room.

After securely latching the main gate lock, I made my way toward her. When I slid the shoji open I saw that she was working on some sewing by candlelight. At seeing my face she seemed relieved. I felt like the worst person in the world. After lying to her, I left her alone at night in the dojo. She had left the gate open for me, meaning anyone could walk in. Kaoru-dono was more than capable to deal with common burglars, but she really shouldn't have to.

I motioned behind to the gate. "If I'm out late ever again, you can lock the gate when it gets dark."

She furrowed her brows. "How would you get in?"

I attempted smiling to reassure her. "I'll jump the wall."

"Oh, of course. A little dojo wall can't keep out a master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu." Her voice drifted off, as if considering what she just said.

At her contemplative look I thought the statement over. It was true. My Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu training was a large reason why my vertical leap was inhuman. God, I was a demon. If Kaoru-dono were to go on to marry and have a family with another man, there was nothing keeping me out of our home. Well, her home. Or better put, their home. Changing the locks would accomplish nothing.

"So how was your meeting with Saitou?" She asked while pretending to work on her sewing. I could see that she was mending a gi of mine, which warmed my heart at the sight of it. But I wondered why she was pretending. Kaoru-dono was never the best actress.

"Good." I decided not to embellish, I didn't need my lie to go deeper.

She peeked up at me for a moment, then went back pretending to mend my gi. "The road bandits are taken care of?"

"Yes." I answered, but I felt nervous saying it.

"Oh." Kaoru-dono seemed disappointed by what I said. I can't imagine she is pro-bandits, so I waited for her to say something else. She glanced at the clock ticking away diligently at her side. She made quick work of putting away her sewing and stood up gracefully. "It's late. I'm going to sleep."

She swept past me. There was something about how she was acting that was making me nervous. I turned to address her before she disappeared into her room. "How was dinner?"

Kaoru-dono stopped at the entrance of her room and seemed to contemplate her answer a moment. "Good." She quickly and softly said as she swiftly entered her room and shut the shoji behind her.

I didn't like the atmosphere. The air between us had been thick and awkward. Did something happen at dinner? I was terrified at the prospect of losing her so suddenly. But I had unconsciously checked her left hand, there was no ring present. If the dynamic between her and Makoto had changed, there was no physical evidence of it -not with jewelry anyways. The thought of other physical evidence made me sick again.

What the hell was wrong with me? I wasn't acting or thinking like myself. I was making a mess of a situation I didn't even have control over.

I stepped into the main room and blew out the light Kaoru-dono had left in her haste to get away from me. A glanced down at the gi she had been working on. It was neatly folded on top of her sewing box and I recognized the tear. It was from a week ago when I was gone for three days straight. Saitou had recruited me to find and take care of the arsonists that were rampaging a town further north. I had returned with tears in my gi from the scuffle the situation had led to. She was now mending my carelessness.

I squeezed my eyes shut trying to block out my memory of her when I returned. She looked relieved to see me alive, but I had seen the loneliness that had crept up on her while I was gone. I had left her alone in the solitude of our home. Sometimes, there was nothing more engulfing than being alone. The dragon had left the princess in the dark tower alone. What kind of guardian was I?

I didn't fare better through the night. I kept having nightmares where Kaoru-dono broke the news of her upcoming marriage to me. I was being pushed out of her life. When I finally woke after tossing and turning for the majority the night, I could tell that it was late morning. I hadn't slept in this late since I was last injured by Enishi. I could feel in my bones that I did not get enough sleep.

I could hear the quiet conversation between Kaoru-dono and Sano. What was he doing here at this time? Sano never came by before lunch.

As I changed into my clothes for the day stretched my muscles. I was getting old, I needed restless sleep now. My days of sleeping propped up against the wall were probably behind me.

I picked up the sakabatou that never left my side and then I slipped it into the ties around my waist to sit at my hip. Sliding the shoji open I continued down the porch to make my way to the front gate. I froze in my steps when I saw that the male voice that I had designated to Sano was not his. Why had I thought it was him? He was long gone and running from the law.

Now that I saw the owner, I frowned at my growing complacency. I was depending less on my senses to detect fighting spirits. Looking at the true owner, I now could sense that he was vastly different from Sano.

Makoto, he was here early in the morning speaking to Kaoru-dono. Looking upon the young man more closely, I could tell he was maybe a couple of years older than Kaoru-dono. I could already hear the comments people would make about how he was the more appropriate age for her. He had dark hair that was cut in the latest style copying the Westerners. Hair color that was conventional and didn't draw ridiculous amount of attention. He was a head taller than her and they looked complementarily proportioned. A better suit than someone short.

I halted my thoughts. Why was I comparing Makoto to myself?

Kaoru-dono's back was turned to me as she talked to Makoto. My eyes zeroed in on her hand on his upper arm as she braced against him as she laughed at what I could only presume was a particularly funny joke.

But what irked me more about the situation was her state of dress. Her long ebony hair was plaited in a gentle braid down her back. She was still in her sleep yukata with her short robe pulled around her shoulders. I thought I was the only one seeing her like this. Now that Yahiko and Sano were no longer barging in during the early morning or spending the night at the dojo, this relaxed vision of Kaoru was selfishly mine. Or so I thought.

When Makoto noticed my presence, Kaoru-dono noted his distraction. She turned to see me and the look her on face broke my heart more than I ever expected. The usual smile I received from her was absent. Instead, she seemed almost disappointed to see me.

After a brief moment she seemed to remember herself and tugged up a forced smile -which hurt more than her disappointment. She was pretending for my sake now.

"Good morning Kenshin. I didn't want to wake you," She paused a bit, then added. "Since you had a late night."

"I'm sorry Kaoru-dono. I will get breakfast ready."

"Oh, don't worry. Makoto brought me an onigiri from the market." She turned slightly and gestured to the man. "Have you ever formally met Maekawa Makoto?"

I walked over and bowed politely to the man who did the same. "Your father mentioned you yesterday."

He arched a brow in response. "Really?"

Kaoru-dono giggled at his response. Giggled, actually giggled. "Maekawa-sensei is not known to brag about his sons."

"No, he brags about Kaoru instead." Makoto gave a friendly smile, one that I automatically returned. I frowned internally.

"So what brings you by the dojo so early Makoto?" I forced my tone to be sociable, but I was finding it difficult.

He gestured to the small wooden comb Kaoru-dono held in her hand. "My father sent me to return this to Kaoru. Something about a lady needing her grooming instruments."

Kaoru-dono rolled her eyes and laughed. "It's only a spare comb I carry in my practice bag. I could have picked it up next week when I go to the dojo again. But I appreciate you making the trip anyways."

Makoto grinned. "I was in town to buy tofu anyways."

My eyes narrowed slightly, but neither seemed to notice. The store with the best tofu was out of the way from here. He must not appreciate good tofu.

"Don't you need to get changed Kaoru-dono? Yahiko and the other students will be here soon." I think I did a commendable job of sounding normal.

Makoto seemed to perk a bit at that. "Do you help with the classes Himura-san?"

"No, he usually helps out by doing the household chores around here." Kaoru-dono said smiling.

Despite the fact that I spent the better part of the last year cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and buying groceries for our daily lives, I had never thought myself less of it. Kaoru-dono had extended a kindness to a nomadic stranger who was weather worn from a decade without a place to call home. I considered myself a foil to her lack of domestic skills, but her negation of my help in training did not sit well with me.

"Oh, well, I would love to spar with you sometime." Makoto said in the way martial artists sounded when they found an interesting opponent.

Kaoru-dono waved her hand in front of her face, "Don't count on it. Kenshin doesn't spar."

My response was faster than I could control. "I can make an exception."

I didn't look over to Kaoru-dono, but I could feel here piercing eyes on me. Makoto obliviously seemed giddy. "Really? Thanks! I always wanted to see the legendary Hitokiri Battousai's skills."

Hearing my notorious name I gave a curt nod and walked away without a glance back. Eleven years of repentance and I am still only remembered for the lives I took, never the lives I've saved. That is the burden I must carry forever. I will always be Battousai.

I went straight to the kitchen. I leaned my back against the wall just inside the small room. My fingers raked and then pulled at my bangs. The hell was I doing? Where was I living? I didn't recognize the reality of our situation anymore. Actually, my situation. It appeared that it was not my place to consider this ours.

Wasn't it just two nights ago that Kaoru-dono and I sat on the porch drinking sake and enjoy the summer fireflies? I should have known there was something wrong. The moment seemed bittersweet, recalling memories of the night I left for Kyoto. The night I left her.

Even now, months later, I could still see the fear in her eyes whenever I told her I was being sent off for a few days. She always put on a brave face, wished me well, and hoped for my quick return; but she never asked me when I would be back. Even though she never voiced her uncertainties, I knew from the way she seemed to tiptoe around me that she worried I would leave. I didn't plant roots here. With the sakabatou in hand I could leave anytime. I brought little else. I contributed little else.

I blinked my eyes open slowly when I heard the familiar sounds of the kenjutsu class starting up. I needed to keep busy. If left to my own devices, I would spend the entire day in this dark kitchen thinking about what was now happening.

I glanced over at the shelves in the corner and remembered that we were running low on miso and rice. I frowned. Why was it that the heaviest things always ran out at the same time? Maybe I should stagger the purchases so that they didn't coincide at the same time. No, better to do it now. I needed an excuse to leave.

On my way out toward the front gate, I passed by the open outer doors of the dojo. I tried ignoring Kaoru-dono noticing my passing, but she made her way to the door after telling the class to continue practicing their strokes.

"Where are you going Kenshin?" Her tone seemed to be back to normal. It appeared she got over her disappointment with me.

I smiled genuinely to her improved mood. "To the market."

"Oh, okay. If you want to wait a little bit, I can go with you once the class is done." She offered.

"It's only for miso and rice. I should be back shortly." I responded. There really was no need for Kaoru-dono to haul herself to the market when she would no doubt be tired from class.

She chewed on her lip as is she wanted to say something else, but sighed and nodded. "I'll see you later then Kenshin."

"Of course." I said, and without a moment more of lingering I turned leaving.

I couldn't bring myself to face her for long. I was afraid she would read what I was feeling and find me out. That can't happen, not yet anyways. I barely knew what I was feeling. Or if I even had the right to be feeling it.

Later, I felt a familiar but unwanted presence coming toward me as I paid the vendor for the rice. I turned in time to see Saitou smoking his ever-present cigarette. I attempted ignoring him by hefting the sack of rice on my shoulder and picking up the bucket of miso. The items were undoubtedly heavy, but my usual pace did not slow as I walked in the opposite direction of the wolf.

"Battousai." His voice was steady and scathing on my nerves. Because of the color of my hair and the scar on face, I was a screaming beacon. I could never run from my past, but the people in town were getting used to the sight of me and hadn't jumped at my presence in months. But with the reminder of my name, I could see the vendors and market goers in our vicinity getting nervous. Yes, the murderer was still here. I wondered briefly if they were more afraid of me or Saitou.

I kept walking, knowing he would catch up and keep pace. When he entered into my periphery he blew out a puff of smoke. I could see his lips lifting into a smirk. "So did you catch those road bandits?"

I stalled to a stop in my steps. My eyes widened as I turned toward him. "How did you..." My words trailed off.

Saitou had no problem picking them up. "Know? Well, I got an earful from that raccoon of yours when I saw her yesterday."

My hands were going clammy. "Yesterday?"

"In Akabeko. She kept going on and on about how I was a deplorable public official for sending you off on an assignment while I enjoyed a hotpot." He took another draw of his cigarette.

This was why I avoided lying. Skating past the truth by leaving facts out? Yes, I did that all the time by omitting my history. But outright lie?

"I set her straight of course." He smirked at my misfortune. "I wouldn't want your woman being mislead as to your true whereabouts."

I narrowed my eyes at his choice of words. "Kaoru-dono is not my woman."

Saitou seemed surprised. He considered me for a long moment then snuffed out his cigarette against the sole of his shoe. "Although I don't agree, I understand why you dedicate your life for redemption." Now I was the one taken by surprise. "But denying yourself happiness isn't bringing anyone back from the dead."

I knew exactly what he was referring to. "I can't."

He sighed and made to turn away but paused. "Take it from someone older and wiser."

"You're only five years older." I pointed out.

He glared at my retort, something a lot more familiar than his attempt at giving out advice. Unfortunately, he was undeterred and continued. "A woman can ground you. She can put things in perspective." Saitou turned away fully and threw over the weightiest piece of his advice. "And she can keep you from going insane."

I stood dumbfounded. Here I stood, in the middle of the market carrying heavy groceries as the mibu wolf doled out... dating advice? I shook myself out of the stupor. Maybe the world was coming to an end.

Shifting my cargo a bit to be more comfortable, I walked back the way of the dojo. When felt and distinctively heard my stomach grumble, I groaned. Lunch. I went to buy food and forgot about lunch.

This wasn't the first time I left the dojo during meal time, but I was usually good about leaving something already made. But my mind was too occupied with... everything, that I neglected to make breakfast or lunch. What the hell was I good for if I didn't keep up with my duties?

It was too late to go home and make something. I would pass by the Akabeko on the way back to the dojo, I guess I could ask Tae-dono for something to go. And I could ask her what Saitou said yesterday, and... about Kaoru-dono and Makoto's dinner.

Once I was in front of the Akabeko, I couldn't open the door. For one thing, my hands were full. But the other, I wasn't sure how I would go about asking Tae-dono about yesterday. I got the feeling that I would end up with a package of dumpling and be on my way before I could even spit out any question I had.

"Kenshin?" Hearing my name, I turned toward the familiar voice. Yahiko was still wearing his training gi as he approached me. "What you doing here?"

I shifted in my step a bit and smiled at the boy. "Getting some lunch to take back to the dojo. It seems I forgot to prepare anything."

He raised a brow at me. "Why don't you just eat it here?"

"I'm taking some back for Kaoru-dono."

He shook his head. "Don't bother. She's having lunch with Maekawa-sensei."

I fought against the frown that was making its way across my face. Years of training as the unassuming rurouni won, my smile stayed. "The father?"

Yahiko nodded walking past me and opened the door to the restaurant. "Yeah, he said he needed to talk to her about her future."

The frown won. "Her future?"

Yahiko shrugged and gestured me into the Akabeko. "Yeah, Maekawa-sensei invited me to join them, but it seemed way too serious to not end up being boring as hell."

I walked in to see that the lunch crowd was still mostly lingering. Tae-dono and Tsubame-dono was flitting around from customer to customer. They seemed all too busy to distract with a lunch order. Yahiko motioned me toward the kitchens. I followed him through the kitchens and out the back. He pointed to the barrels.

"Take a seat Kenshin. If you don't mind scraps, I'll wrangle us some lunch." He said, and was already inside making good on his offer.

Setting down the bucket of miso and the sack of rice on top of it, I hopped up onto the barrel. It was amazing that just a little less than year ago this was the boy that was pick-pocketing his way into a delinquent life. He barely knew which end was up on a shinai, and now he was a part of our battles as much as Sano.

Within moments, he was back with two plates filled with random small portions of various dishes. There was an odd sense of pride coursing through me as I watched Yahiko wolf his food down in no time flat. He quickly changed out of his training clothes and into his regular gi, hakama, and tying an apron around his waist. He tossed a quick greeting then rushed in the direction of the kitchen to help out.

I was outside with my plate of food for a while. My mind was too preoccupied to figure out eating -but I was surprised I wasn't more hungry. After a bit, Tae-dono came out in search of something and smiled at seeing me. I responded in kind.

"Kenshin-han." She came up to me, crossed her arms, and game a knowing look. "I'm sure you have something to ask me."

I let out an exhausted breath as I set the plate aside on the barrel next to me. Tae-dono was too perceptive and meddlesome to leave things alone. "Why should I ask when you already know the question?"

She considered my question over for a moment, then nodded. "Fair enough. You want to know about Kaoru and Makoto."

I didn't say either way. I was feeling ridiculously petty as it was, I didn't need the verbal confirmation to know I was acting mad.

"I was happy to see them here together again."

My eyes widened on their own accord. "Again?"

She rolled her eyes. "Before you came strolling into town, Kaoru had many a man attempting to woo her. Makoto, I'm afraid, is one that's been around since childhood. They practically grew up together and know nearly everything about each other. They used to come in here at least once a week to have lunch or dinner after classes. Well, they did until her father died. Things changed for her after that, and more so when you came."

I imagined the cheerfully oblivious Kaoru-dono greeting men as they lined up at her dojo. I also imagined a protective father fending them off to protect his precious daughter. That's when I realized. I was taking the place of her father. I was now the one fending off the suitors.

"Then again, I've also never seen her happier." She added with a grin, but then proceeded to wag an admonishing finger at me. "But she won't wait around forever Kenshin."

_Waiting? Kaoru-dono was waiting for me?_

"Yes. You need to stop the self pitying and say how you feel to the poor girl." Tae-dono answered. Did I just say that out loud?

"I can't do that to her. It's not my place. I... I don't deserve a chance with her." I was only the dragon. She was the princess.

"But you do love her right?" Tae-dono asked, her eyes piercing into me.

I was about to deny what she said, but couldn't find the words. Lies weren't doing me any favors today.

"And don't you think she should at least have the chance to turn you away?" She grabbed my arm and tugged me to stand up. She shoved me toward the back gate of the restaurant. "Stop trying so hard to protect yourself Kenshin-han. You're only hurting yourself and Kaoru."

I was pushed out, and the gate promptly shut behind me. _Had I really been hurting Kaoru?_

"Yes you have!" She called over the gate. Did I say my thoughts out loud again? "And I'll send Yahiko with your purchases tomorrow, it'll be strength training for him."

I frowned. "I can take it now."

"And let miso slow you down on the way back? Go home Kenshin-han! She's waited long enough!" I could hear her huffing in indignation.

But Tae-dono was right. I needed to get home. Maekawa-dono was no doubt causing irreparable damage by offering up his son. Kaoru-dono would come to her senses and never look at me twice again.

I raced home. I was upon the front gate, which was locked, before I could change my mind. It wasn't dark yet, why was gate locked? I leapt over the wall as I previously told her I would. I scanned the small outside grounds. There was no sight of her. As I made my way through the various rooms, I didn't see or sense her anywhere. Kaoru-dono was not here.

I came upon the final room, the kitchen. It was the unlikely destination for her now that I took care of our meals -or at least I did before today. Coming into the small room I immediately spotted the folded up parchment on the table. Walking up to it, I recognized my name in her handwriting.

Was this a farewell? She ran off with Makoto? She was casting me out and didn't want to do it to my face? Was this the end?

I carefully unfolded the letter, fearing its contents.

_Kenshin,_

_I went into town with Maekawa-sensei. I'll be back by dinner._

_-Kaoru_

That's it? I turned the parchment over as if that will change the words or produce more of them.

Why did she go into town with Maekawa-dono? Was he taking her to the kimono maker to measure her for her wedding? Wasn't that racing to the finish too quickly? Hadn't he asked me yesterday for my blessing? I hadn't given it yet. Had I?

I needed to do the laundry. I needed to sweep the grounds. I needed to wipe down the porches. I needed to do a lot of things. I should have done a lot of things -not letting Kaoru-dono go being one of them.

Instead, I sat. I don't know for how long. I sat on the steps leading up to the dojo watching the front gate. I willed the gate to open, Kaoru-dono to appear and smile at seeing me. But instead hours past and the shadows stretched as the sun climbed across the sky.

Left to its own devices, my idle mind was the devil's playground.

The more I was left to it, how could I even consider it? Kaoru-dono was the kindest and sincerest person I came across in these eleven years wandering. She was the first person to not care about my past. And when she had learned of what I did, she still wanted me to stay.

She was viciously righteous. Even going so far to charge at the alleged Hitokiri Battousai with little more than her courage and bokken. The reputation of her father's school was more important than her life, which she seemed to value so little. I needed more than one hand to count the times she threw her fragile life in an attempt to save another's.

A flash of the moment on the island with Enishi penetrated my vision. The psychotic henchman had pointed a gun at me, and Kaoru-dono had jumped in the way within a moment. I wasn't fast enough to stop him, but Enishi was. And that was how I was able to forgive him.

Even though he put me through days of thinking that Kaoru-dono was dead, he saved her when it counted. I nearly lost her then, and I should have acted as soon as she held me in her arms. I should have told her. I should have held her and never let her go when I saw her living and breathing on that island. She was alive.

But instead, months had passed. We returned to the dojo. We went to Kyoto. Our friend departed. Yahiko moved out. And we had lived as if nothing had happened.

And here I was, realizing how much I was being a fool only when Maekawa-dono mentioned matching her with his son.

The dragon was jealous of the knight who tried to climb the tower. But I would be damned if I would let him past me without at least slaying me -not that I was sure that would keep me away anymore.

The click of the lock opening echoed through the twilight. I could see the latch lift and the gate open through the growing darkness. Kaoru-dono's smiling form stepped through while holding a small wrapped package carefully in her arms.

As she closed the gate behind her, I could hear her humming. She was content, even happy about something. I should leave her be, but I couldn't keep this to myself anymore. And if after hearing what I now knew I needed to say, Kaoru-dono orders me away, I would leave. The dragon would leave his post and the princess can finally leave her tower.

"Kaoru-dono." I called out. I was surprised by my even tone.

She visibly jumped and dropped her package, which made a slight clatter on the ground. I momentarily glanced at the package wondering what was inside, but whatever it was appeared to remain unbroken.

She pressed her hands to her chest, as if trying to slow down her rapid heartbeats. Her eyes whipped toward me, "K-kenshin. What are you doing sitting in the dark?"

I stood up and advanced on her like I would a frightened animal. Maybe that was the wrong approach. Kaoru-dono was looking at me like I was insane. Okay, a different avenue might be best.

When I was within arm's reach of her, I lifted my hand to cradle her cheek. My thumb brushed softly against her smooth cheek. The last remnants of the sun's rays swept across the grounds and glinted in her blue eyes. She really was beautiful. Aside from her heart that seemed to seek out the best in people, she was unaware of how she could draw the attention of any room. I don't think I had realized she had captured my attention on that first night in the alley. My life was changed forever when she called out the name I earned during the bakumatsu. But maybe, I could learn to love the name. It did after all bring me to her.

Her eyes widened and I saw the fear within them. "You're leaving."

I flashed back to the night of the fireflies. I wanted to extinguish the panic and doubt from the blue eyes that I grew to cherish, but I also didn't want to lie to her. My hand remained cradling her face. "I don't know."

Her gaze began to water. She reached forward to fist her hands in the front of my gi. Kaoru-dono took in a shuttering breath, "Can I stop you?"

My fingers wrapped around her fists on my shirt. The grip on them made it seem like she worried I would disappear into thin air in this moment. "I hope so." I admitted in a sigh.

Her eyes searched my face as if looking for an answer. Her brows furrowed. "What's going on Kenshin?"

"I have to tell you something." I gulped down the growing knot in my throat. "And I want you to let me get everything out before saying anything."

The worry didn't disappear from her face, but she nodded. I urged her hands to let go of my gi, but I kept them within my grasps when she finally released. My eyes were trained on hers. I needed her to see me when I said what I needed to say and know that I was telling the truth.

"You're very important to me, Kaoru-dono." I started gingerly. "The night you recklessly confronted the Hitokiri Battousai in the alley was when my life began again. I drifted for over a decade and I would have most likely drifted again if you hadn't said that you wanted Himura Kenshin to stay. I didn't realize how much those words saved me. You saw me as who I was, not what I was.

"I put you through so much. Too much. You've been kidnapped right before my eyes. I've seen you cry more times than I should. You've died. And come back to life when we found you on that island.

"I thought I could stand by and protect you for the rest of my life. I thought I could stand by and watch you be happy. But I can't do that anymore."

I stopped in my words when I saw a tear escape her eyes. What I did next, I can never rationalize with logic. It was a split second reaction. The part of my mind that kicked in during life or death situations took over.

When I realized what was happening, my lips were on hers. I was kissing her. I was kissing the girl of my dreams. I was kissing Kaoru-dono.

She was frozen still for a long moment, and I worried that I had crossed a line that I never should have. But then, she was kissing me back. She was tentative and shy, while I was hungry and demanding. It was as if a fire was lit and I was a powder keg. My arms wrapped around her and pulled her so her body was flush against mine.

My lips traced her jaw until they were by her ear. My breath was hot against her neck as I held her and whispered out the phrase that I knew would change everything. "I love you Kaoru-dono."

I heard her gasp at my words. She seemed more stunned by what I had to say instead of what I just did. She didn't appear to be making any headway on a response so I pulled back a bit. I couldn't read the look on her face, and how I wished I knew what was racing through her mind.

I pressed my forehead against hers and shut my eyes, I was too afraid of how she would react to what I would say next. Who knew that the renowned killer's greatest fear was the response of petite raven-haired woman?

"You would be happier without me here. Makoto is perfect for you. He would help you run the dojo instead of just doing housework. You two would have perfect dark haired children and he won't make you cry." I took in a breath, "Send me away Kaoru-dono. Send me away before I ruin your life."

I braced myself for her response, but I didn't let her go. This might be the last time I would hold her in my arms. I wanted to relish the moment so that I could remember it for the rest of my life, the moment before I let go of the most important person in my life because I had been worried to act for so long.

"I cry because I love you Kenshin." My eyes snapped open at her admission. "I don't want dark haired children. I want a bunch of redheads running around the yard. I don't want someone teaching with me in the dojo."

I couldn't believe her words. They were exactly what I wanted to hear. Maybe I was losing my mind?

"I can't do housework for the life of me. I'm waiting the day you run for the hills demanding to be out of laundry duty." Her arms wrapped around me finally. "And you're perfect. I would never be happier without you here. I would be miserable."

"You love me?" I sounded like I didn't believe her, which I did have a hard time doing.

She smiled softly. "More than you'll ever love me."

"I don't think that's possible." I leaned forward and my lips found hers again. My fingers tangled into her hair and I couldn't help tugging the ribbon containing her ponytail loose. Before I knew it, I had been tugging her toward me and my knees met the edge of the porch. I sat down and pulled her to stand between my legs as I pulled her upper body down as I kept kissing her.

It appeared I crossed a line she wasn't ready for when the tip of my tongue traced along her bottom lip. Kaoru-dono pulled away but stayed within my embrace. She looked down at me and bit her lip contemplating something until she finally asked, "There's no one else?"

I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Are you talking about Tomoe?"

She shook her head in negation. "No, I know she'll always be your first and greatest love. But-"

I cut her off. "First, but not greatest. I don't think we had enough time together to get the chance." I maintained her gaze as I tucked her now loose hair behind her ear. "I think I'm well on my way with you though."

Her lips trembled as she smiled and another tear slipped out. "I thought there was someone else in town. Because you lied about Saitou and wanted to go into town alone."

"I'm an unmitigated idiot." My fingers traced up to her shoulder. "I lied about Saitou because Maekawa-dono told me he wanted to match his son with you right before you told me about dinner at Akabeko. I didn't want to be there on your first date."

"Makoto?" Her voice sounded disbelieving, and then she started laughing. "I never thought you could be tricked Kenshin. And by Maekawa-sensei!"

"Tricked?" I didn't know how to piece together the facts in my head.

"I mean, I was tricked too. I thought you didn't want me going into town with you anymore. I thought you were getting tired of me." She was still giggling and grinning down at me. I would take any trickery if it made her this happy.

"I don't think I could ever be tired of you Kaoru-dono." I answered truthfully. Things that were so difficult to say before now flowed from me easily.

Her giggles calmed and she smiled at me. "Maekawa-sensei isn't trying to get me and Makoto together." Then why did it bother me that she addressed him so informally? Was I always this jealous? She continued in her explanation. "I don't know what he said to you, but Makoto is in love with a sister of one of the students at the dojo."

Wait, what? "In love?"

"Makoto became completely smitten with the older sisters of one of the younger boys in class." Kaoru-dono tilted her head. "He was asking me about how to propose to her. That's why he asked me to dinner, he just wanted to pick a woman's brain."

"Does Maekawa-dono knows this?"

The look she gave me told me she felt a bit sorry for me. "Yeah. He's been pushing for Makoto to man up and propose for a while now."

Oh. That's why he tricked me into thinking some viable and appropriate man was pursuing Kaoru-dono. He saw the same characteristics of his precarious son in me.

She considered me a moment longer then questioned, "Are you angry with Maekawa-sensei?"

I sighed. No, I wasn't angry at Maekawa-dono. How could I be? He finally lit the fire under me to act on the truth I was aware for a while now. "No. I'm not angry. If anything I should be grateful."

She arched a brow. "Grateful?"

"At the pace I was going, I might have confessed my feelings sometime in my forties."

Kaoru-dono smirked, "Oh, so I only had a couple years to wait anyways."

I tried to hold back a smile as I narrowed my eyes. "I'm not that old Kaoru-dono." I was taken aback by her sudden frown. "What's wrong?"

"You called Makoto without an honorific from the very beginning." She pointed out.

"I think I should warn you I'm discovering I'm a bit of the jealous type. I think I inadvertently didn't respect him because of what I thought his intentions were with you." I admitted.

"Is that why you agreed to spar with him?" She seemed a miffed by the prospect.

I raised a brow. "Part of it. I think that's the first time in years I wanted to put someone in their place."

"Oh. I thought you just never sparred with me because I was an unworthy opponent." She couldn't be further from the truth. But her frown didn't disappear. "If you can call someone you just met by their name, why can't you do it with me?"

"I do call you by your name Kaoru-dono." Her eyes glared and I realized what she meant. I felt my face getting red at the prospect. I glanced around the grounds, making sure no one was near. I let my senses tell me that no one was within earshot. When I was certain we were alone I tried what she wanted. "Kaoru... dono."

She sighed and sat down on my lap with her arms still around me. "I guess we can work on that one."

My arms slipped around her to rest around her waist as she tucked her head into the crook of my neck. I could get used to this. Within my arms, I could make sure she was safe.

Then, in my own self defeating way, my thoughts turned for the worst. If I did get used to her at my side, would I ever feel at peace when she wasn't there? Would I become obsessive and hoard her from the world? I could already imagine locking her into a cage.

Maybe I hadn't thought this through. How had I even considered it? I rushed into the moment after Tae-dono mentioned I was hurting Kaoru-dono. Kaoru-dono, in all her innocence and light. I would damn her into becoming the bride of the killer.

"Where are you?" Her voice was soft and comforting.

My eyes refocused after the spiral it went though. Kaoru-dono had pulled away and was now searching for an answer in my eyes. Was it too late to pull away and leave her life before I destroyed it?

"You're off somewhere in your mind that you won't let me reach." She brushed back my bangs and stared into my gaze. "Stop thinking about the worst case scenario. Don't shut me out because you think it will be good for me."

"How did you..." Was she a mind reader? I was notoriously unreadable. How did she know?

"Your eyes." Her delicate fingers traced the brow above my left eye.

"My eyes?" I wasn't sure what she was talking about.

She smiled and let out a light chortle. "You don't know? Your eyes change from amethyst to gold when you get really intense about fighting." She paused, "I think you plunge into the survival instincts you had during the bakumatsu."

Oh, great. If I didn't seem demonic enough already. I had weird eyes that glowed gold or something. The only good thing was that at least they didn't turn red. Red hair and red eyes? My hair color was only another reminder of how much blood covered my life.

I briefly wondered if she could smell the blood on me.

"Please don't take it back. Please don't regret saying it." She pleaded. Why was Kaoru-dono begging me like I actually had some kind of power between us? If anything, I was irrevocably wrapped around her finger.

Then I realized that the fear of me walking away from any life I create here was a harsh reality for her. Even just a few moments ago I considered running. But could I really leave forever? There was no doubt in my mind that even if I did leave, I would come by -maybe in secret- to verify that Kaoru-dono was happy and safe. And she would undoubtedly be with another man. She wouldn't wait for me, she shouldn't wait for me.

No. I was too jealous and possessive. The idea of her with another man was worse now that Makoto was out of the picture. It was odd. Now that it was a faceless person, my reservations for her future husband grew. I knew Makoto would have treated her extremely well, but another man? I have no idea.

I also can't imagine Kaoru-dono will be up to me sorting through her suitors and having a say of who she should be with. Like now. This was not my decision, it was hers.

I steeled my rattled nerves. "I won't take it back or regret it. I won't leave. Not until you tell me to."

"I've been waiting for you longer than I've known you." She then bit her lip and asked precariously. "But if I do ask you to leave, can you give me at least three days to take it back?"

I raised a brow at her suggestion. Either way, I can't imagine I would walk away so easily anymore.

She explained before I asked. "I'm hot headed, I'm sure you know better than anyone else. So I'm sure I'll get mad about something stupid and tell you to leave, but I'm going to need you to not leave. Let me calm down and come to my senses."

I chuckled at her reason. "I'll try to not do anything stupid then."

"So we're going this?" She asked hopefully. "We're going to give us a shot?"

Oh, right. I should court her. I hopped, skipped, and leapt right over to our entire lives together. Yes, Kaoru-dono deserved to judge me during the courting phase. The problem was that I'm not entirely sure if I would be very good at it. I could feel the growing nerves as I imagined mucking this up before the end of the week.

"Kenshin?" Hearing her questioning voice I focused in on her face.

Seeing the concern in her eyes, I shook off my ridiculous worries. I shouldn't have an anxiety attack trying to woo this beautiful young woman. This should be fun so that we can look back on this time and remember it fondly. There I go again, jumping to forever.

I grinned. There were steps I needed to take before forever started, I was willing to take them with her. "You might push me away by how persistent I suddenly am Kaoru." I tried saying her name the way she wanted, but couldn't. "dono."

Hearing me finish her name she laughed. She stood up and I immediately missed her when she stepped out of my arms. Before I realized it, I was following close behind her as she walked to the gate to pick up her dropped package. I had completely forgotten that she had carried something in her hands when she arrived. I curiously watched over her shoulder as she unwrapped the cloth.

Peeking out from inside was a small placard of wood with a small hole near the top center. Written in artful clean calligraphy was 'shihan.'

"This is what Maekawa-sensei came to talk to me about." Kaoru-dono remained facing away from me as she spoke. "My father died more than a year ago, but I never changed my title from acting head master to head master. It felt like I was letting him go, and I wasn't sure if I could take on the responsibility of the dojo."

"He would be proud, you've done an amazing job so far Kaoru-dono." I said as I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind. Yes, I could seriously get used to being allowed to hold her.

She shook her head. "Taking the title on seemed like an entirely different thing. We burned the original 'shihan' placard with his body. Making my own seemed presumptuous." She turned smiling sadly. "Maekawa-sensei figured it out, had this made and gave it to me as a gift. And I think I know what he meant now."

I tilted my head in question. "Meant by what?"

Kaoru-dono bit her lip trying to hold back a grin. "I didn't understand when he said it, but he called this was an early engagement gift." She giggled nervously, "Not that we're engaged or anything."

I shrugged grinning. "Not yet anyways."

It was amazing how things can unfold so quickly at the clever hands of a conniving dojo master. Oh that scheming man. I'll never underestimate him again. He gave the dragon a chance with the princess.


End file.
